Dear Mom

Dear Mom:

I wanted to say I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for not checking in when I said I would, for sneaking out and for not being where I said I would be.  I’m sorry for being a typical teenager and pushing your buttons just to see you squirm.  I’m sorry for making your heart skip a beat when you would see me flying in the air on the sidelines at football games and cheerleading competitions.  I’m sorry you had to see me with my first heart break, broken bones and a trip to the ER in an ambulance.

I want to say thank you for bailing me out on my senior beach trip, for teaching me to love and being patient with me when I needed to figure things out in my life.  For always lending an ear to listen and dealing with my excessive need for perfection and order.  Thank you for complimenting my attributes and for telling me when I’m wrong. 

I know that over the years I will learn tenfold the trouble that I put you through.  I know my heart will skip a beat the first time I see Marissa take her first steps, I will cry when she gets her heart broken for the first time and I will be furious when I catch her skipping school.  I will probably cringe at a few choice boyfriends and do a happy dance when she finds the perfect man she will marry.

I now know what it is like to be a mother.  To feel emotions so different than anything you’ve ever felt before.  Emotions that you don’t even feel for your own mother, your husband, your brothers or sisters or even your best friend.  A mother’s love is so different than anything you can explain and someone who has never been a mother can never put themselves in your shoes or even begin to comprehend this nature of love. 

Thank you for showing me what it’s like to be a great mother; for paving the way down this bumpy path with hills and slopes and fender benders that happen along the way.  For always having my back and being the best mom you could be!

I hope that one day Marissa sits and contemplates over her childhood and sees me just as I see you.  I know she won’t see me as perfect and there will be times she wishes I would disappear (I can hear her now, "buuut mooooommmmm, you're embarrassing me!"), but I hope she realizes that I love her and I always have her well being in mind. 

Thanks for being you, mom. 

Love you!