Praying

This is a very private post, but I feel the need to document what is going on for my own personal reasons.

Yesterday afternoon I started spotting and I've been having some mild lower back pain.  I'm absolutely sick to my stomach, and I'm not sure if it's nerves from the possibility of miscarrying or if it's just good 'ol morning sickness.  I don't remember having this problem with Marissa or Dylan, at least not this early.  I did have a pretty scary event with Dylan around 24ish weeks where I started bleeding but that was apparently due to my low lying placenta/partial previa that later corrected itself.

I'm really frustrated that out of 3 OBs I called in my area, not a single one will give me a sonogram at 6 weeks 1 day, unless I want to go to the Emergency Room.  I know it is earlier than "normal" to have a sonogram but I feel that it could give us a lot of answers.  

I am going to see the midwife today at 2:00.  I'm not sure what the plan forward is, possibly draw blood to see if my betas are doubling.  I just really want to know what is going on.  

I'm trying to stay positive but I just have a bad feeling about everything.  

Here's to praying everything is alright.

All Aboard the Crazy Train!

Originally Dated 30 July 2013:

Today was just another ordinary day.  Get up for work, drop the kids off, Indian lunch date with the hubby, pick up the kids, take a pregnancy test when you get home from work, throw negative test in the trash, come back 5 minutes later for one more peek, see a faint, faint line, call your husband upstairs for a sanity check, more denial, have dinner, tuck in the babies...squee in silent excitement!

You read that right!  We are expanding our family one more time.  We decided earlier this year that our family was still missing someone.  Hence selling our little home and building one that is more suitable for our growing family.  We decided to go ahead and take the plunge and get on the trying to conceive wagon.  It does take 10 months to grow a baby and all.  

We are really, really excited but also being cautious in the early weeks.  I plan to test once more tomorrow morning in hopes of seeing a more definitive line since my hCG levels should be higher in the morning.  Then I will be calling my midwife to set up my first prenatal appointment.  Eek!

Can you see the faint line??

(Updated 08/31/13 - this was my morning test and there's no denying the second line, yay!)

In other news...Dylan turned 19 months today!  He is growing so much and really starting to talk more.  It is still hard for others to understand him but I am understanding him so much more.  He has the cutest little voice!  And the boy loves to dance and listen to music.  

Marissa is our wild little girl.  So full of sass and love and life.  She brings so much happiness to our family.  Her sweet laugh melts your heart.  

When asked if she wants mommy to have another baby she says she wants a baby sister!  Daddy, of course, wants another boy.  So we'll see in 10 months what we are having.  My estimated due date is April 7th and our plan right now (always subject to change) is to be team green and wait to find out if we are having a boy or girl in the delivery room.  Danny and I both knew what we were having by the 20 week ultrasound with Marissa and Dylan because we could tell on the screen before they told us.  So we will have to make sure they hide the screen from us while they are doing measurements and only show us the face and full body.

Here's to a healthy, happy, sticky baby!!  If you are my Facebook friend...please no comments. :)

The Dreaded Day

The day has come...I have officially found my first gray hair!  I always said that when I started getting gray hairs I would dye my hair for the first time in my life. I'm thinking auburn but Danny says blond. Men!

I'm not sure which one of these little people gave it to me?

Hey, August!

How is it already August?  I guess we have some exciting things happening this month.  We should be breaking ground for our new home and my not so little baby girl is turning THREE!  How is that even possible?  That means school in just two short years.

We are gearing up for our Disney trip in September.  We booked our resort the other day and this will be our view for a week!

Marissa is SO excited to go to Disney.  She thinks we're going to Mickey Mouse's Club house...but I'm not sure Disney has that, so I hope she isn't too disappointed. 

It's hard to believe we sold our house 3 months ago and we probably have another 5 to go until our new house is built.  I can't decide if it is making time go by faster or slower.  I miss our little home but I am envisioning so many things for our new home.  We may be canceling Christmas depending on when we close...I think it is going to be really tight to close before the holidays.  Luckily, I already have a few presents that I put away in storage that we can give the kids.  We have a doll house for Marissa and an art easel for Dylan.  Throw in some stocking stuffers and a new house and I'd call that a Christmas success!

I seriously dream of having the stockings hung over the fire place, music in the background, children playing, adults exchanging conversation over good food and spending time making our house feel like a home.  I'm just not sure this year will be that year.  ::Sigh::

Patience, patience, patience!

We have lots of exciting stuff coming our way. Stay tuned!

Country Roads Take Me Home

Friday night we decided to load up and head to my brother's house.  He lives in the house I grew up in and I haven't been there in over 2 years.  Driving the country roads made me feel like I was home.  Danny couldn't believe how many lightening bugs there were in the mountains.  Sometimes I truly miss home and the country.

I've been itching for months to get a new tattoo.  I've had a pretty good idea of what I wanted for a few years.  One drunken night I told my best friend what I wanted and when I explained to her the meaning behind it she said I was almost in tears.  So I figured it was a pretty safe bet that this would not be a tattoo I would regret 6 months later.

My parents were supposed to float the river and then have a cook out, but due to all the rain they were unable to float.  So my mom watched the kids while Danny and I went and got tattoos!

We woke up early and were the first in line at 8:00.  By about 10:30 while we were waiting to be called back the butterflies sunk in.  I haven't had a tattoo in 7 years so I was a little nervous about the pain.  A guy I graduated with, Evan, was our tattoo artist.  So it was kind of nice to catch up with him and actually know who was doing our work.  Danny got in the chair first and was done in about 10 minutes.  I was up next and it took about 45 minutes to an hour.  It really wasn't too painful.  There were a few tender spots but nothing I couldn't handle.  I actually found that watching the needle and seeing where he was going next helped with the pain.  

So as a whole this is the Virgo symbol, which is for both Marissa and myself.  Since Marissa was a week late, she went from being a Leo to a Virgo.  The pink ribbon is for breast cancer and for my Aunt Norma who passed away from breast cancer about 6 years ago.  And if you look at it from a distance, it kind of looks like an "M" for my last name.  I love it!

The original plan was to get our wedding ring finger tattooed, but it turns out my size 3.5 finger is too small for our wedding date or even Danny's initials.  Instead of rushing into something I wasn't 100% sure about, I held off on my ring finger.  Danny did get his done, though.  In binary. It is the equivalent of 08-11-08 for 08 November 2008.  Yes, he is a nerd. ;)

After getting our tattoos we headed to the Shenandoah river for fishing and catching up with friends and family. I grew up on this river and to see both of my kids enjoying the outdoors, throwing sticks and rocks in the river, helping catch fish and with dirt on their faces, it made me remember all the good times of being back home. I even caught a catfish!

My Loves

It is not often that I get a decent picture with my babies. They are getting so big!

Breaking Ground

Okay, so maybe that title is a bit deceiving, but we've been given a date that we can officially break ground for our new house.  Wait for it... August 15th. Boo!  I am ready to get this ball rolling.  We have to wait until the HOA approves our plans and their next meeting isn't until August 14th.  Papers have been submitted to the county for permits and hopefully we will start seeing some action soon.  I am not holding my breath that we will be in our new home by Thanksgiving and at this point I'm wondering if Christmas is pushing it.

Patience is a virtue...or so they say!