Holy Hormones

So far during this pregnancy my hormones have pretty much been in check.  I've only cried a few times and for the most part I had a valid reason.  Today however, things got a little crazy!  I was crying one minute and then laughing hysterically the next, I'm talking the I'm hyperventilating, can't breathe, just about spit my Pepsi on Danny's face laughing.  This all took place in about 3 minutes.  You should have seen the look on his face!  He clearly understood that it was just my hormones gone wild, but at the same time he was clearly confused as to what just happened.  After the tears and the choking on my drink subsided, I felt EXHAUSTED!  Like I just ran a marathon.  My body was just completely drained. 

So you might ask what was so funny?!  My Pepsi can had a coupon for $6 dollars off some water park and Danny said "Oh $6 dollars off, huh."  I briefly imagined me in a bikini, climbing to the top of the tallest water slide, going down feet first with my big white belly splashing through the water only to arrive at the bottom and not be able to get up.  What a site that would be.  Apparently I thought it was funny, but I can only imagine that Danny thought I had really lost it this time.

And those tears just moments before?  Danny and I had been talking about how much I've changed in the past 7 months.  Not just my physical appearance of that big belly referenced above, but just how I've changed in general.  I started to have this fear that Danny was no longer going to be attracted to me after seeing me give birth to our child.  What if my body never returns to it's previous state?  What if he can't look at me the same as before?  All these thoughts raced through my mind and it just became too much for a pregnant woman to handle.  So on came the water works.  Don't get me wrong, Danny has told me that I look beautiful carrying his child and that I'm "glowing" but that I'm different.  He isn't used to seeing me with a big belly, he's always had a set image of who "Alicia" is and that girl has transformed into a beach ball smuggling, baby carrying, "hippie." 

YEP, he said it folks...he thinks I'm a hippie now.  He blames it on "the bump" for my eco-friendly ways.  So we've started recycling a little bit, cans, metal, plastic and glass bottles.  I have tried to cut back on how many paper towels we use, I try not to run the water excessively, and I've been using reusable containers rather than a ziploc bag every time I want to take some chips or crackers to work with me.  I've started returning our grocery bags to the store and I'm slowly starting my collection of reusable shopping bags.  What's the big deal?  What is so wrong with reducing our waste?  It's the least I can do and it makes me feel better when I do it, though I should have been doing it a long time ago. 

Okay, so maybe there is one big sign that screams HIPPIE -- cloth diapering.  Danny said he never pictured me as a "bag of poop carrying mom."  Nice, huh?  I don't know if he's just scared of the whole cloth diapering thing or what.  It's poop, they are diapers, they are cute, more eco-friendly and they are better for not only our wallets but for our baby's bum too.  I just don't see the big deal.  He still supports my decision to want to give it a try, I just really hope it works for us because he isn't 100% on board.  Only time will tell.

So this post got really off topic from my original start of crazy hormones.  But life is full of ups and downs and today I had both.  So there you have it, the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Good night blogger world and my one follower who very rarely gets on anymore.  :)  Though no one probably reads this mumble jumble of a blog, it's a great way for me to get things off my mind and to journal life as I know it.  I hope to one day look back on this and see how much I've changed, and to see how I evolve into a mother.